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Filtering Values in the Dating Game
Ever noticed that when dating, no one really wants to takethe first step and open up a dialogue on a subject with depthand substance? It would seem only natural to try to obtain such vitalinformation in order to make a reasonable assessment as towhether your date could have potential. However, most people, due to either being too uptight, ormerely too busy playing the "let me put on my best facefront", whether it's you or just a fraction of you, do notprobe for the others' values initially. This, yet not brain surgery, can become quiet a hurdle toovercome even for the most savvy of daters. Unfortunately, it may take many dates to overcome thisobstacle and if you find that this person, is indeed notsomeone worth proceeding with, then guess what? You notonly may have wasted your money, but worst yet, youwasted that precious commodity called time.. Do this enough, and you can see and sympathize with goodpeople who just want to find another good person to spendthe rest of their life with. Certainly, I wouldn't advocate anyone attempting thehard-line approach with a prospective mate by asking themto "not beat around the bush" or to "bottom-line me". This will more than likely cause a seemingly fun lovingperson to simply disregard you due to your edginess. Therfore, if time is one of the most important things in theworld and wasting it is like sleeping on a bed of nails; onewould definitely have to discern that filtering and siftingothers' values prior moving forward, would assist in thiscrazy game. Yes, the days of going on blind dates and getting set up byothers is still alive, but not as alive as it used to be, due tothe Internet, newspapers, and the like. With that said, this emerging concept allows a seeker toalmost be able to pick and choose like shopping at the localgrocery store. This fact may sound crass, but it's true, andthis is where the future of dating is heading, even though youstill will find a more unafraid crowd which some peoplewould call lonely hearts I see this as intelligent people who, when they submitthemselves to a database of others, want to immersethemselves into something worthwhile, sooner than later,instead of getting lost in the potential maze of dating. Of course this is not the only way to filter out bad apples. One could take the classic route and blow off the datingservices, save their money, and forge ahead without thatassistance. There is nothing wrong with this approach, but be preparedto run through many more dead-end dates before finding thatrose among the thorns. If, for example; you find out that your dealing with a personwho does not want children, but it took you several dates tofigure this out, then ascertaining this important fact on thefirst, or at the latest the second date, should be a focus ofyours. In a casual manner, many of important pieces of informationabout another person's value system can be obtainedgenuinely on the first date. The key is not beating them so hard over the head that it'sobvious you have no possibility of being remotely flexible. It's like the same concept of people wanting everyone to askthem for identification because it makes them feel safer fromID theft, even though many of these new safeguards takemore time. People who have similar values as yourself will more thanlikely appreciate your subtle curiosity and up-front persona. Yes, it is a fine line we all walk because we want to come offappealing, yet, we surely need to know certain things inorder to move forward with prospects. Focus from here on out when dating to not only have a goodtime, but to obtain information by asking appropriatequestions over the course of the date, rather thanconcentrating them over a couple of minutes. Without a doubt, this approach will pay dividends in yourrace to capture that perfect someone to stroll down the aislewith. --by Brian Maloney-ValuePrep.comWant to improve your personal values?Get high-quality-relationship advice for guys and gals from a 'Logical' standpoint. Visit ValuePrep - Relationship Advice for Guys & Women **Attn Ezine editors / Site Owners**Feel free to reprint this article in its entirety in your ezine or on your website as long as you leave all links in place, do not modify the content and include our resource box as listed above
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