|
 |
Love Eluding You? Let Go and It May Find You
How many times have you heard someone say it was when they weren't looking for love that they found it? Often they'll say, "I had just accepted the possibility that I may not find someone and realized that I'd be ok." Or, "It's ok if I'm single for the rest of my life." It's a paradox. We're taught to focus on what we want and to take action until we reach our target. Yet if we focus or hold on too tight to the target, it eludes our grasp and gets further and further away. What's a single gal or guy to do? I needed an answer so I called relationship coach Karen Jones. I figured if anyone knew the answer she would. Karen has been working with and listening to hundreds of single and married women for eight years through her 'Heart Matters' (http://www.heartmatter.net) coaching company. When I asked her for an explanation of this paradox she explained it like this: "Think of it in terms of energy. There is a flow to it; the more attached you are to an outcome, the more you squeeze the flow, and you either slow it down, divert it, or simply shut if off. I like to use the imagery of being in the shower, and grabbing a bar of soap. If you squeeze too hard the soap jumps out of your hand. It's like that with relationships. If you squeeze too hard around relationship energy it becomes too hard to hold. Loosen your grip, and the soap (relationship) is there." She then went on to explain the solution. "You have to decide you're just going to be happy in life, no matter what. Make your life work now. Do what you love to do, and spend time in ways that fulfill you. One indirect benefit of that decision (and way of being), is this: that energy is very attractive. You're doing things that interest you, which will create opportunities for you to meet people that you enjoy; men as well as women who'd be good to spend time with. Just to clarify. This doesn't mean you give up on your vision of having a happy, successful marriage. You need to keep that dream alive in your heart. It does mean you let go of the specific details you have pictured in your mind about your dream. For example: your husband will be 6'2" tall and have blue eyes and blond hair, you'll have 2 kids - a twin boy and girl, and your house will be in this city on this street etc. Trust that your vision will unfold and that it may look very different from your picture. In fact, it's often better than what you could have possibly imagined." It's like this invisible fine-line exists. While you need to clearly see and know what you want and take action to make your intention a reality, at the same time you have to be ok if you don't get it. Expect to get it yet don't be attached to getting the outcome. If you find yourself holding on too tight, just let go and enjoy life. Love may find you. Sue Bond shares dating stories, tips, dating site reviews, and news on what works and doesn't work in the world of online dating on her online dating site. Check out the blog! For women who want to have the relationship of their dreams, visit Karen Jones at http://www.heartmatter.net
MORE RESOURCES:
Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
A Revolution Has Come To Online Dating There is truly a revolution going on in the online dating services industry. And it is one that is far overdue. Online Dating. Is It Taken To Seriously? When I look at alot of the online dating services I notice one common trend. People take it very seriously into finding there true love. Male and Swinging Single As a single male trying to enter into the lifestyle successfully, I am sure you have discovered that this may be no small task for you.First, you must get yourself recognized. What Appeals To Women About Badboys What is it about the attraction of Bad Boys?A lot of women have said they are attracted to bad boys. If you wonder why than read on. Dating Advice! Where Safety Always Comes First Dating advice for people dating online, where safe dating will always be a priority!For many of you that are starting to move from the traditional local dating avenues to find relationships and love, and are now using dating online as your source, keep in mind that common sense must still be an important element when involving your dating relationships online.Before you decide what dating sites to use, make sure you read their dating tips that provide valuable information on how to best keep you safe. CyberCheapskates and Net Gold Diggers Did you know that Match.com has around twelve million members, but only a million or so of those listed have paid their dues? The most asked questions from Romance Clients? "Why don't they answer my emails?" Well, first off, you don't know and never will. Where Should You Go On The First Date? One of the most frequently asked questions in the history of dating (with the exception of the caveman who was a firm believer in kidnapping and always took his date to a filthy cave) is where should one go on a first date. For starters, there are several places you shouldn't even think about going on a first date. I Found Love On a Online Dating Site Over the past few years, I discovered a few personality traits about myself that I wanted to change. When it comes to relationships I have had a hard time changing. 3 Easy Steps To Online Dating Success We all know that online dating will help you to make new friends and meet your perfect partner. But, how do you get the best out of a dating site? If you are thinking of signing up, or have already joined a dating site without success, make sure you read these 3 important tips!1. Online Dating - Top Tips for Success! A few months ago I became single again after a long-term relationship, and decided to try out the phenomenon taking the world by storm that is online dating.Online dating has grown hugely in popularity over the last few years. The Key to Reaching the Next Level in Dating Success Back in the days when I was a teenager, I actually had reasonable success with women, but it was far from consistent. Many of my behaviors and attitudes were anything but high-status. Take Your Time How long do you think it takes to really get to know someone to the point where you could marry them? Is 1 month long enough? Is 6 months long enough? Is 1 year long enough? What do you think of people who believe in love at first site? Is it infatuation or genuine love? I donīt intend to answer these questions, but how you answer them will impact how you approach dating and relationships.However, no matter what your answer to the questions above there are some things that you should be aware of. Love Notes: What DoYou Mean? Secrets of Clear Communication Recently a man I had met through match.com sent me an email and asked "What's your situation now?" I wondered what he meant. Do Men Want Classy Women? Ladies, this one is for you. Your mother always told you "Don't give away the farm. Is Online Dating For You After A Divorce? Until Death Do You Part?That certainly was a lie. Your spouse got the house, a younger you, and you got the children. How to Find True Love Quickly And Easily How often do you find yourself wishing you could find truelove?Unfortunately, you're not alone. With millions of singles outthere, why is it so hard for most singles to find true love? It'sjust human nature. A Real Man Something I find 100% humor in is the fact that men are so quick to call women bitches. Well I will hold my " #1 Bitch " badge with honor! Because you know what that says to me? I Got You! I am a bitch because you can't handle something I have said or done, that you, more than likely caused to begin with. Dumb Dating Mistakes Men Make with Women Do you strike out with single women in the romance department no matter what you do? You can even be a drop-dead good-looking guy, but unless you know what is offensive to a woman's ears, you are likely to stick your foot in your mouth and make a fool of yourself and turn off women.With today's single woman you need to know what she wants and then give to her without sounding phony. Impress Your Date: Proper Grooming Tips For Him So you have scored the date, she has agreed to go out with you. Now the preparation begins. Christian Singles: Questions To Keep Your Spirit Alive With special events like Valentine's Day coming and going each year, I am reminded how difficult it can be to retain your spirit of who you are when you're a Christian single.It just sometimes feels like it would be easier to mold yourself into whatever your dating partners want, and then you can get on with living happily ever after.
|
home | 
|
| © 2006 |