Confessions of a Professional Matchmaker
Don't make these mistakes when searching for love online!
"I spent my life searching for the perfect woman. I finally found her but alas, she was searching for the perfect man."
I was a professional matchmaker for several years - trying to help singles meet others with whom they shared common interests and complementary personality traits. I met with my clients in person and they were screened to ascertain their real names, addresses, education, marital status. Most importantly, I tried to help them determine the type of person they were really seeking and that's where most of the problems arose.
Even though my clients verbalized that they were happy to be matched based upon compatibility, this was not true! The major problems I encountered were:
1) A number of clients were seeking others mainly based on appearance.
I would show each new client photos of existing clients based on their characteristics as well as their appearance. Unattractive people sometimes became offended when I matched them with their physical counterparts. A dowdy sixtyish woman asked me, "Is that what you think of me?" when I attempted to match her with men in her age and looks category. Many clients seemed to be totally unaware of how they looked to others and wanted matches that were highly inappropriate. With these people, compatibility had no bearing on their matches. They wanted the best looking people in my book!
2) Some clients refused to compromise - even when matched with someone they liked!
I matched two extremely overweight people who liked each other immediately and went out on several dates. Before their last meeting for a Sunday movie date, the woman asked to meet at 7:00 pm instead of the 5:30 show. The man became annoyed, broke the date, and immediately ended their budding relationship. He, who was a part-time telemarketer, told me he needed time on Sunday evenings "to get ready for his work on Monday." Because she needed to reschedule their date, he was totally turned off to her regardless of his prior interest and their compatibility.
3) Others had a Wish List for their Perfect Person and expected me to find the person on that list for them.
One divorced man in his late 30's expressed a desire for a woman who had a specific type of nose. (Really!) A never-married woman in her early 30's with pale blonde hair and very light skin wanted a man with very, very dark skin (but not an African-American), who earned at minimum $75,000 per year, was not in Sales, had never been married and had no children. I had twelve men who matched her description in my data base but she found something wrong with each one and refused to go out with any of them. She then complained about my service and was upset because she 'had not had even one date'. AARRGGHH!!! An Indian medical student saw her photo and was instantly smitten.
They had many things in common and each was what the other was seeking. He was very excited about meeting her; however, before they met, he wanted a guarantee of a successful relationship which I of course could not give him. They never met and as far as I know, both are still single and searching.....
My advice: Don't shoot yourself in the foot! If you are meeting a lot of people and just can't seem to connect, ask yourself if you really want a relationship. Are you ready and willing to be close with another person? If you constantly find fault with others, ask yourself these questions and be a bit more tolerant. Don't expect to find your perfect person because he or she does not exist. Be happy if you find Ms. or Mr. Almost-Perfect. Good luck!
About The Author
Terri Arnold (Spicy Grandma) has an MS in Counseling and has been a Psychotherapist for over twenty years. She also owned and operated a brick and mortar dating service for several years. Terri now invites you to visit her popular interactive and personalized 50+ dating community at http://www.spicy-senior-singles.com
Dating app Bumble has a pop-up lounge in New York where users can drink for free and listen to DJs - Business Insider
Dating Online - Can Be Less Stressful
Dating is a challenge at any age and for both women and men. Ladies worry about your hair, your make-up and whether you look fat.
Do It And They Will Come: Pursuing New Adventures To Find Mr / Ms Right
Are you tired of the whole dating scene? Have you spent many hours (years) going to parties and events with the hope of meeting compatible and available singles? If so, now may be time to think about doing something different. Really different.
The Law of Large Numbers
It is often said that sales is a numbers game. The more people we contact, the more chances we have to make a sale.
Harsh words, hurting comments, tears and flying household objects - for sure, no one ever wanted that to be the everyday routine when deciding to live together with the beloved person. Yet, why is this such a common picture, portrayed even in many Hollywood dramas?Two people meet, they fall in love - that happens, in a multitude of different ways, thousands of times all over the world.
Lonely Expats Looking for Valentines Love
Being an expat in a foreign country where you don't speak the language is hard at the best of times. And if you're single with the most romantic day of the year looming, what do you do?You could sit at home and feel sorry for yourself, but the modern expat in Europe is turning to exciting new ways of finding Mr or Mrs Right before February 14.
Latin Dating - Beauty and Romance
Like any other society, Latin culture is one that is embedded with traditions, values and celebrations. Of all the different attributes that are associated with Latino's, there is no question that passion and romance are considered to be two of the most intriguing.
Male and Swinging Single
As a single male trying to enter into the lifestyle successfully, I am sure you have discovered that this may be no small task for you.First, you must get yourself recognized.
Life isnt Sex and the City
A couple of weeks ago, I watched a Sex and the City episode, in which Charlotte, in her never-ending quest to find true love, attends a seminar to teach her how to do just that.She drags Carrie along, who scoffs at the whole thing.
Dating Tips - Prepare To Impress
At first dating is fun but as you go on it's so easy to fall into a rut. A night at home with rental movies or a dinner out or a movie is all you ever seem to do and you are getting bored.
Online Dating - Needle in a Haystack?
No doubt about it, Internet dating has become a unique part of modern love. In fact, in New York, Internet dating has become so popular that it is now simply called 'partner shopping' or 'hyper dating'.
Dating Rules - Dress Nicely
Wear good clothes, e.g.
The Best Way to Pick Up a Girl
You see her across the room. Ah, so attractive.
Dating Tips for Matchmaking and Friend Finder Sites
Three years ago, I met my boyfriend Andy through the well known online dating agency 'Friend Finder'. Since meeting, we have moved in together and are head-over-heals in love.
Dating Opportunities Are More Abundant Than Ever Before
Dating, there are many thoughts that word brings about. Many of us have had both bad and good experiences with dating.
Four Dating Rules You Must Know To Transform Your Love Life
Dating is the first step to love. I am going to give you a simple guide to find your dream-lover.
Online Dating Safety
Online dating safety warning signs.Online dating is a brilliant and increasingly popular way to meet new people whether to for friendships or take it that step further but you should always do your utmost to ensure your online dating safety.
3 Easy Steps To Online Dating Success
We all know that online dating will help you to make new friends and meet your perfect partner. But, how do you get the best out of a dating site? If you are thinking of signing up, or have already joined a dating site without success, make sure you read these 3 important tips!1.
How to Get Over an Ex When You're Still In Love
1. First, put yourself in the opposite position: If YOU didn't want to be with someone, and let him or her know it, what would you expect the other person to do? Hopefully let go, and move on with dignity.
The Five Worst Date Places
Food in teeth, nausea, childhood stories and exposing your pot belly are all things you ought to avoid on first or second dates. You run the risk of experiencing these and other humiliating incidents if you choose the wrong place to bring your date.
Does Internet Dating Work?
What's the Number One Question that Everyone Asks About CyberDating?Everyone -- and that included YOU! -- wants to know: "Does Internet Dating Work?"Well, I KNOW it works, and in the best possible way, because I met my husband Drew on Match.com in May 1998.